Facing the unknown. Journal of skydiving.

The door opened. The powerful  gusting air hit my skin, swept through my hair and made me turn my gaze unto the side  to look upon the people in harnesses. I watched each one of us jump right before my eyes. My heart wasn’t racing though. I was waiting to see the ground first. I just knew everything is taken care of. It’s going to be amazing. I just need to be calm and enjoy it.

Lucca, my tandem instructor, pulled me off the bench and we went for the exit. We let Andrea, the camera man, set out first. He went out, on the side of the plane and waited for us to prepare.

You don’t really think about anything. You just feel the moment. I guess it’s pure faith. That everything will be exactly as it should.

Instinctively you set yourself in the launching position and then you wait for the moment when you’ll be in air. At 4000 Meters above planet Earth. Free falling to the ground.  Your speed in free falling reaches around 200 km per hour.

The feeling is overwhelming. There’s nothing more besides that. 100% pure feeling. You don’t think. You don’t do anything. The camera man rotates around you and you just smile instinctively. You don’t do it on purpose. Because  in that moment you have forgotten everything. Ever. It’s free falling. It’s freedom. Pure state of experience. Ecstatic.

You know those dreams where you fly? This is it. You fly. Your dream just comes into reality in that moment. And then the parachute opens. And you see your feet in the air and you contemplate the horizon. Your instructor asks you : How is it? Are you alright? You enjoy it?

But you just want to scream out of your lungs and be in silence in the very same moment. It’s a mixture of feelings inside you, yet allowing you to realize this  is the most liberating experience one could ever feel.

He shows you the handles and explains to you how you can guide your parachute as you wish. You can turn, rotate in air or just choose to plainly float until you reach the ground.

I was in awe of the sun getting ready to set and the colours on the  horizon. The contours of the mountains to France, the villages near and the beautiful  Italian landscape. My feet were in the air and my words were long forgotten. I guess I started crying out of joy. I felt two warm drops slipping on my cheeks.

It was the moment when I came to understand that it doesn’t matter, really, what you had been through. There is always hope and there is always a happy ending. It’s all about having faith. And stop thinking about it. Just feel life as it comes and accept everything.

I phoned my mum after the jump. She was waiting for my call. She started crying. She’s worried these days for me. They all are. When you come from  a regular Romanian family, you can’t take time off work and think about your true path in life. People worry that you’re crazy.

I comforted her. I assured her that if I escaped my previous experiences, I will be able to create everything I want from now on. She just needs to have faith that I am making the right decision and be patient for outcomes.

And truth is that when you choose with the wisdom of your heart, you will create your path. You just need patience so that it takes a clear form . You know already what’s within you, it’s just that others have to start seeing it too.

My next personal goals for this year are the New York Marathon on 1st November and the U2 concert in Paris on 15th November. As  my birthday presents. I put my faith and trust that I will do them both.

#challenges #livingfromtheheart #love #faith #freedom

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