Is being a gentleman In or Out?

Has the era of gentlemen been completely worn out by the era of emancipation? Is that the reality of the times we live? Is it honestly what every woman wants? Is it maybe, wanting to have equal rights to men but still, if possible, keep also the fragility and vulnerability of the female complexion and make use of it at times?

The topic of how a man should behave with a woman is one of the most passionate subjects women love to chat about. We enjoy to discuss long hours with accurate examples of masculine behaviors and to decide which are the details that make us consider a man worthy of our full attention.

There are no two details the same for every woman. Each one is so different that you cannot create categories.

But the essential is this. As free and independent a woman is, she still cares and is touched by a man who uses his charm and acts like a gentleman, not only in her presence. Every woman these days should afford to have the same civil rights as a man. Sadly, our world is still under progress  to reach that demographic. I like to say in these changing times it won’t take long until we will see every woman having the liberty of choice and the right to create her own life’s boundaries and stability. Like it is supposed to be. In a free world.

In the western cultures, where life has been more democratic, women have fought and achieved with the price of their lives the freedom of speech, right to vote and to work. Feminism was first used in France at the end of 19th century and the first declaration about what a feminist woman wants was :

“’Chiefly that she shall be a woman, and shall be allowed the widest possible opportunities for self-development. If she is to go on being merely ”le reflet de l’homme” [the reflection of man] there is no use in further troubling.” Source

And even with all the freedom we do want men in our lives. Nobody wants to be alone. Especially a woman whose main features are to be caring and to love. So when we want to love someone we do pay attention to every detail.

Besides the common door open, the adjustment of footsteps after a woman, the held coat and the held chair, women pay attention to the selection of discussion subjects a man makes. Women notice the tone used when relating to other persons and also don’t like a choice of edgy words. No gentleman talks about people that are not present.

I personally dislike when a man is late. I think that a gentleman should listen when someone is speaking and never interrupt. When there is a passionate topic involved I don’t think raising the voice tone is recommended. I think it’s important for a man to have or at least seem to have every situation under control and to not complain in public.

Regarding small attentions, I have never met a woman yet that would not enjoy receiving an old fashioned surprise-note with a thought on it. Especially if it comes with a flower arrangement. Anything really that shows a man thinks of you goes. Of course there could be less inspired actions but it’s important to start somewhere.

Details, details, details always make a man charmful and enticing. I think that women secretly expect men to handle every situation in the best mannered way while rewarding them with full attention.

#charm #relationships

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