For Christmas, to know unconditional love.

      

You are a soul perfect and whole,

allow life to unravel who you are.

 

 

 

Writing this blog post before Christmas, I have chosen as subject unconditional love. How can we reach this state of loving wholeness whilst living in a world that is progressively preoccupied with self-discovery, simultaneously vulnerable to illusions?

Through the texts I have read last summer I had found written, within a few lines, that a current necessity for a healthy life is daily cultivation of the heart, self-education, heart practices of balance, in different situations. I like to try suggestions that can clearly offer a chance of developing my own behavior into conducive manifestation therefore I have spent my time exercising different attitudes the whole year, not only the few last months. How efficient this was remains to be experienced through the various occasions life always manages to bring forth. This doesn’t mean that practicing such suggestions I haven’t met or still meet discomfort or difficulties, that I don’t still succeed to become angry and have episodes of intense contradictions, that I don’t feel my veins furiously pulsating with blood, increasing pressure fast between my temples or that I block my emotions.

I feel it is absolutely necessary to be strong enough to accept yourself completely and allow yourself to manifest your feelings while, paradoxically, practicing a best way to calm yourself  in order to avoid a heart  attack… in that moment you feel your blood raging to be able not to block your emotions, which try to transmit something (I find that healthy as they show you who you are what you like/dislike/can cope with/should avoid etc), but express the aspects of your unique personality probably opposing to the social expectations to correspond  a pattern, thus giving yourself the chance to live in an authentic manner, exactly as you feel you are – and not as it is expected from you by common conventions of “good/bad”.  Captive emotions weaken the immune system, causing heart tension.

I name this as whole acceptance of one’s being.

One question comes to mind – Does this mean unconditional love?

To be fully aware that someone is an alive being  worthy of unconditional love regardless of traits and behavior?

And before everything else, above all, start with your own being?

How strong is that feeling of unconditional acceptance, love,  does it bring freedom?

Do you want to know it?

Could you pay attention to what is it that you truly are, truly create and feel in this lifetime?

Frequently we turn a blind eye to the behaviors we observe around us, even if we feel mistreated, because we feel that everyone can do better, we hope that we can all do better, we hope that someone who faults us “will change” and maybe sometime things will work out as we would like them to. Could we start “the change”, above all, firstly, with our own person?

Thus refusing to encourage feeling mistreated and instead, appreciate truly who we are – offering – unconditional love (expressing fully our feelings).

Accepting oneself completely with all preferences/manifestations/thoughts/wishes and communicate them openly. Could we actually do that?

There are numerous examples coming to my mind of parents which train their children in various competitions as … a child is smart/well raised/well behaved/rewarded   “if”  or by “do-ing” certain things. An analogy with society itself which induces numerous “examples/models” of how “successful” people behave, which types of results to obtain, how to develop relationships, frequently being promoted the type of “obedient” model, not only as a child but adult as well, the perfect “consumer”, or modest and humble, servile.  I feel that it is alarmingly too frequent the attitude of  “ if you do a certain something – in conformity with the expectations of  people around –  then you will be appreciated and loved”. Meet approval. Otherwise maybe you will even be punished or told off, maybe asked to have another go, this time making sure to succeed (according to expectations of course – which you very well knew but for some reason you failed to meet).

How healthy is this attitude?

To create expectations from young ages and conformity requests suiting one’s personal standards (which are subjective and furthermore can be obsolete/unhealthy/threatening to new generations)?

This encouragement of “doing things” to satisfying emotional  expectations opposite as what we really feel is it really in the benefit of not only our own being but of everyone involved,  or  is it fostering  possible situations which we don’t really want?

For example:

Compromising to spend Christmas in an atmosphere you wouldn’t want to take part but accept just because someone insists. It is a simple example but starting with a small compromise chances to repeat  and even enhance increase, thus coming to losing contact to who and what we really are or wish for, wearing instead a mask of accomplishing expectations – to be accepted as worthy. There are people who choose carriers in order to meet parental expectations, get married for the sake of “normality/conformity” – ending in divorce most of times. Currently two out of three marriages end up this way. How many children are de facto an outcome of love? How many children are raised having their parents together? This is the reality of our days.

What happens when someone doesn’t  “do those normal things, betraying expectations”?

Is then that someone perceived as impertinent or rebel, maybe could even be considered unadaptable, antisocial, even possible dangerous because it cannot be “educated” or ,easily, labeled as “loser”, giving way to bullying?

The social tendency of encouraging  human behavior to suitable or fixed patterns or categories produces emotional conflicts lucidly present in depression and stress – as global illnesses.

Dissatisfaction, estrangement feelings (although social networks are packed with “friendly pictures”, do we ask ourselves how profound are these relationships, don’t they become part of a display image we want to keep thus encouraging seclusion, lacking thoroughly communication and instead inducing subliminal competition through comparison), displeased and with a feeling of lacking life purpose, a deeper meaning , these are our current  challenges we face in our world, now, in this very moment.

Apprehension and mistrust in our unique abilities that are refused to be recognized

and even blocked by the silent encouragement of “global trends” accentuate the

feeling of  Self-denial…

 

How can I talk about or feel unconditional love

when I don’t offer myself the chance of complete acceptance, as I am?

 

How can I offer love if  I haven’t known it within my own example?

 

 

What does happiness mean?

It is an abstract term, a concept in which can be clustered many categories and most of all expectancies, we, people, love to have expectations.  How frequent is the saying:  If I am not happy now, I will be when I will have/be/do …many, many examples?

But what is thwarting  my own happiness now? Do we honestly ask this question?  What does this happiness represent? Could it be a state of peace, silence, calmness, enthusiasm, excitement, fulfillment, maybe material fulfillment, intellectual or spiritual. Perhaps  registering a success in any life field can bring a period of happiness, a period of contentment  after a long tumultuous one, maybe seeing someone again or reading two pages of a book, hearing a child’s laugh or buy a new pair of shoes?

In consequence could I say that happiness is a state conditioned on an external factor?

What if, at a certain moment in life, let’s say for a period of a year, nothing happens?

Could we then be able to find reason and feel happiness?

 

Or if, we would end, by absurd let’s say, be considered as  “unfitted to society” person, could we still feel happiness? As in India, for example, human beings considered pariah, are they entitled and can they feel happiness?

If our life’s course doesn’t correspond on any plan with what is considered to be “socially normal”, if we wouldn’t meet approval (not to mention support) not even from our own family, friends, within working force which seems to be established as opposed to a unique personality instead cultivating conventional patterns and models, if everything “we do” seems upside down and completely irrelevant, failing to meet any expectations, could we say that happiness still has a chance to slip into our lives?

Could we still consider our being one worthy of love?

Just because we are, we exist in this world?

Without being necessary to prove and earn our right to love and acceptance?

I like challenges and questions which inspire to thoroughgoing study, submerging in the depths of my own being in order to find a condign answer.

Then, in that moment, I stop “doing” anything and just “exist” in the unbounded world of ideas which transit space, freely,  as the blue sky above us.

 

Alive spring, just as my soul…

 

 

For Christmas, let us recall the power to accept ourselves completely, to remember unconditional love, to become that light which guides us towards infinite possibilities…

 

 

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